This post was inspired by T.K. Coleman. Thanks for your help, man.
In our meeting earlier, I revealed to T.K. that I’ve neglected my goals the past several weeks. My confession was met with understanding, wisdom, and absolution.
It wasn’t he who absolved me (he’d deny even having this power, I’m sure), but it was through him that I was absolved.
Don’t Beat Yourself Up
Berating yourself, or allowing others to berate you, for not accomplishing your goals is counterproductive. You’ll just feel worse and do worse, which will send you spiraling ever downward. You must be forward-facing. Look to the future. Get back on track.
A weight was lifted off me when he said these words.
This doesn’t mean you should always let yourself off the hook, but there’s no use in beating the shit out of yourself with a pillowcase full of The Past.
To understand why we don’t accomplish our goals, we must first understand ourselves.
Why did you set those goals? Are you really behind them 100%, or did you just set them because you thought you should?
If I wanted to be reading self-help books every night instead of watching Netflix, I would be.
So what? I should just accept my inevitable future as a lazy binge-watcher? No!
The Right Stuff
All we have to do is set goals that excite us.
But how? We have to set the right goals for ourselves.
Consider the following:
I’m going to eat healthier this week vs. I will only drink one soda and eat five salads this week.
Which is the right goal?
The first goal, while having the same intention as the second goal, is insidious in its ambiguity. As T.K. said, “If your goal is to ‘eat healthier,’ you’ll never be able to meet it.” If your goal isn’t specific—isn’t measurable—how will you recognize your progress?
The second goal is concrete, and it allows for celebration upon completion. If on Friday I’ve had less than two sodas and more than four salads, I can feel good about the week. And I’ll feel emboldened that I can do it again next week.
This post is not meant to be a substitute for hard work and follow-through. But if you ignore this advice, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Don’t do that. Let yourself succeed.
1) Don’t beat yourself up when you fail to meet your goal. Don’t let yourself off easy either.
2) To understand why we don’t reach our goals, we must first understand ourselves.
3) Set the right goals for yourself—ones that get you excited and are measurable.
Further reading: Check out some tips from the master himself.